Happy 5 Months!

Dear Chloe,

    Today you are 5 months old. And my how that time has gone so quickly. In the short 5 months that you have been alive we have already had so many adventures together!

We have gone hiking, swimming, camping, road-tripping (only to Denver), we graduated nursing school together. We have learned to roll over, laugh, almost crawl and walk with support from mom or dad.

Not only that, but we have had the best laughs together, too. Like the time you were watching the ceiling fan and had a very loud and long poop accompanied with the funniest facial expression (the same one your dad makes when he does the same thing ha!)

Or the time when we were in Denver in June 2018 and your dad was talking to you and you "yelled" at him in response; it was probably one of the funniest moments yet!

Some of our most precious moments are when you and your dad have fallen asleep together on the couch or when he is singing to you, playing you the piano or just making funny noises at you. You two are so much alike and I know you will be a Daddy's girl for the rest of your life!

 

There are times when I have wondered if we made the right choice in having you so young; did we miss out on things we didn't think we would? Is this too much for us, too soon? After all, we had only been married a month when you came along. We all celebrated our one year anniversary together. Well sweetheart, I don't feel that I have missed out on a single thing. We have taken you with us on all of our adventures and we haven't missed anything that we would have done if you weren't here. We have enjoyed you and all of the things you bring to our lives every day.

Happy 5 Months of Life Baby Girl!! We can't wait for the days and years of loving you that are to come!

April 1, 2018

    On July 24, 2017, Bill and I found out that we were pregnant. On April 1, 2018, we delivered our beautiful and perfect baby girl. However, it wasn't anything like either of us imagined it.

Bill had to work on Saturday (the 31st of March) while I had the day off. My brother, dad, our three huskies and I went on a hike on the monument while my mom made an Early Easter Dinner because we were headed to the hospital that night at 7pm to have our baby girl. Bill got off work late but we still made it to the hospital in good time.


    We checked in, got oriented to our room (Room 628), and received a run-down on the process of inducing labor. I got an IV placed after our doctor put in the orders. I had never had an IV before and it was a very strange thing for sure. I got a dose of Cytotec PO and went and walked around the hospital. Up and down stairs, waiting for the contractions to really start. I felt them, but to me they were very minor inconveniences, if that.

    Every 4 hours the nurse would meet us back in our room to check to see how far I had dilated and get new orders started. At 4 am she came in and checked: I had progressed some, but not a whole lot. The doctor decided that breaking my water would be the best bet at this point to get labor going. They came in at 5 am and broke my water. I could feel the contractions slightly more, but they still weren't terrible.

    At about 7am I could feel them more. From the time my water broke until then, Bill and I were playing card games and I was able to function. After 7am, I had to focus on me and the baby. The contractions started coming harder and faster, occasionally two or three at at time. It was a lot of pressure, but not a lot of pain.

    About 9am I was starting to feel overwhelmed. The nurse offered to start a warm bath and I accepted. Right as I was about to get in, with Bill rubbing my back, I felt a sudden rush of fluid and a combination of fluid came from me and splattered the floor, Bill's shoes as well. I finally made it to the tub and it didn't help at all. The nurse asked me to sign the epidrual consent form just in case I decided I wanted it later down the road. I said I would but never got around to it. The contractions were picking up. I almost caved and told the nurse I wanted the epidural but then my mom suggested that I try the IV pain medicine first. I agreed.

    Between about 930 and 1030 when I started pushing, I got two doses of fentanyl and boy was that a strange experience. The nurse said it would take the edge off but not take away all of the pain. It sure did. She also said it would feel like I was drunk but I wouldn't get a hangover. She was right again. It felt great! I was mainly laboring over the back of the bed with Bill and my mom taking turns rubbing my lower back through the contractions. At one point, I fell asleep for a few minutes between contractions. Bill also had to remind me to breathe once or twice because the fentanyl was affecting me so much. But it helped.

    I wanted the third dose--you could only have three doses and then they would have to go to the epidural from there--right before I started pushing, so at the very last possible minute. I told the nurse this wish, but it was past the last possible minute. I was almost ready to push. In fact, a few minutes later I felt this intense urge to push. The nurse called the doctor: it was time.

    I started pushing at 1030 (approximately). I tried every position, except being on my hands and knees because that just didn't feel right to me. I pushed and pushed, the doctors stretched and stretched me. At one point I had my feet on my forehead but my pelvis just wouldn't cooperate and open. Our daughter's head would come out a bit and go right back in, no matter how hard I pushed. She crowned 4-5 times before things got serious. The nurse suddenly gave me an oxygen mask to put on that was annoying me and seemed to do more harm than good when it came to my life but was there to try to help the baby who appeared to be getting stressed out and was not tolerating the prolonged labor as well as we needed her to be.

    All of a sudden it seemed people starting coming into our room. Nurses and other medical staff. The doctors said to keep pushing, my nurse started a liter of fluid quickly and then was back at my side. Something wasn't right. The doctors were talking quickly to each other. The baby's head finally came out and my nurse pushed hard on my stomach to get the rest of her out quickly. Something was very wrong.

    Even more sudden than the rush of people was how quickly I had a slippery, wet, purple looking baby on my chest. She wasn't crying. She was barely breathing. The TCN was working to dry her off and stimulate her at the same time her dad was cutting her umbilical cord. I saw what the TCN nurse was doing and worked to get a cry out, patting her back, rubbing her, trying everything instinct and nursing school had taught me to do. Nothing worked and she still wasn't crying.

    The TCN then looked at me and told me she was going to have to take the baby over to the warmer and work on her over there. I can hardly describe how this look made me feel. Her eyes held mine and seemed to ask my permission to take the baby even though she would have done it without it. Her eyes told me that she was going to do everything nursing school and her experience had taught her to do to save and help my baby girl. The Neonatal Nurse Practitioner who arrived with the slew of other people looked at me and explained that the baby had inhaled some meconium and would need to be taken to the NICU to be looked at and obtain some treatment. Bill went with her; I had my own complication to deal with.

    After the baby and Bill left, the number of medical staff had decreased severely to just my nurse and the resident. As they were taking the baby from the room the doctor said that I was still bleeding heavily and to hang pitocin. There was a hole in the bag and it took a little while to get it hung so they gave me a shot of it in the thigh to try to get my uterus to clamp down like it was supposed to. The nurse started pushing on my belly and I could feel lots of blood coming out. She kept massaging it and trying to get it to firm up. Finally, after the shot and a whole bag of pitocin, my uterus was cooperating and started firming up.

    I had lost a lot of blood very quickly and was already anemic prior to delivery and even pregnancy. I was as white as a ghost and felt very cold and shaky all of a sudden. But I refused to go in to shock. I worked to control my shaking, my breathing, my temperature. I was fine. The nurse gave me an ibuprofen, a menu to order food from--I needed to eat quickly. After the nurse took my to the bathroom and helped me get cleaned up and dressed, we were on our way to our new room (728) on the post-partum floor when we got to stop in to the NICU (605-A) and see our baby girl.

    She had a white elastic beanie type thing covering her swollen head and a bubble-CPAP mask on, IVs in her hand and foot running fluids and antibiotics, a little tube going down her mouth into her stomach and hooked up to many monitors. It was heart breaking to see. I knew her nurses well and they were great about telling us what was going on, what they had already done and what the plan was. I felt much better about it all but still wished there was more to do. All we could do was hope and pray.

     All of our prayers were answered when we got to take her home 48 hours later after only 2 days in the NICU when they estimated 10 at least. She was a rock star. The nurses told me that they had never seen a baby inhale that much meconuim and not have to be placed on a venitlator let alone be on room air 2 days later and going home. She was a miracle. Our miracle.

2018

As 2018 gets started I can't help but look back on all of the things that happened in the last year. Many of my friend's posted about saying goodbye to 2017 and how happy they were to see it go and have a fresh start. There were many posts about how their lives still haven't improved, they didn't get the guy, and many other negative things.

As I reflect on my 2017, I am very mixed. I ended 2016 getting engaged to the love of my life and started the New Year by almost getting my finger cut off in a garage door freak accident. I was home alone, passed out in the dining room on the way to the bathroom to clean it up and see if my finger was still attached while I waited for my mom to come back and get me to take me to the doctor because there was no way I was driving myself. The doctor took one look at my finger, said "that looks like it hurts" and then had the nurse come in and put a make shift wrap/splint on it and told me how to clean and care for it on my own at home. No stitches because of the way the cut was and the risk of tearing the skin and thankfully they didn't even mention removing the nail. It was a fun day.

You can say I didn't start out on a very high note. I was still positive that 2017 was going to be a good year despite my rocky start. However, throughout the year I have had about 15 different doctor visits for various reasons: the first being my finger accident. The second was for an abscess on the back of my thigh that continued to grow (only for 2 days) to the point where I could hardly walk. I made an appointment to have it looked at. The doctor numbed my leg up and sliced the abscess open with a scalpel, dug around inside a bit (yes, I could feel most of this happening and somehow I still managed to hold very still the entire time) before packing it and again, sending me home to do the dressing changes and trim the packing until it came out all of the way. I have a nasty, purple scar now that occasionally is still irritated on the back of my thigh and looks great in shorts! Ha!

The next visit was for a recurrent stye in my eye that started just after my finger incident and seemed to go away but then would come back and it would hurt to even blink. Between the finger, the abscess and the styes, however, I managed to find my wedding dress and continue to plan our beautiful wedding. After the stye fiasco that ended in April, everything seemed to go a little better.





On March 15, 2017, we closed on our first home and moved in. In May I finished my 3rd semester of Nursing School and on June 3rd we got married. We managed to dirt bike a couple of days prior to the wedding without either of us getting hurt and my finger nail grew back just in time to be able to get my nails done for the wedding. We went hiking without incidence after the wedding and then traveled to Denver at the end of June to see my sister-in-law marry her fiance.

Thats where the next part of the story begins. On this trip, or so my husband says, we conceived our first baby girl. At the end of July we took a test and found out that I was pregnant.










10 days into August I was walking home from work and was hit by a car. I was about halfway across the street, in the cross walk with the cross light. A lady turning left "didn't see me" and hit me. Thankfully I saw her and started to get out of the way, but not quick enough. She first struck my knee with her car, then I hit my head on the hood before rolling down the side of the car as she kept going. I was hit so hard that I took off her mirror with the force of my body and then was thrown/rolled two lanes over where I finally stopped, battered, cut and bruised. But I was alive and I am very thankful for that. And thus starts another series of Doctor visits, Physical Therapy and countless calls, emails and letters from insurance agencies.

Thankfully, as of now, our growing daughter and I are much better off than we could have been if the outcome had been different. I have seen a specialist for my knee, my back, my eyes and of course, the baby. I am very aware of the baby's every movement and I still worry that something could be wrong after birth due to the trauma, but I remain hopeful she will be okay.





















I, on the other hand, have trouble walking across streets, even in cross walks, getting too close to moving vehicles and I still struggle with nightmares and flashbacks often. I have trouble walking long distances due to the pain in my back, my knee has several centimeters thick of scar tissue on it and is very sensitive and causes additional pain when I walk and my elbow is still pretty sensitive from the whole ordeal.The insurance lady I was speaking with is making it sound like they are going to try to blame some of my injuries and pain on my pregnancy and say they are related and not related to the accident but I know better and I'm just hoping that I am strong enough to fight this on my own and not have to involve a lawyer.

Well, that is my 2017 in review. There were many hard times to go through and many, many blessings that came our way. I know that 2018 will bring many happy memories and many more blessings; it will be a hard year full of new adventures as we become parents, I graduate college and start working as an RN and adjusting to "Adult" life! Ha!

It's a GIRL!!!

    On November 9th, at our 20 week ultrasound appointment, we found out that we are going to have a beautiful baby GIRL in March. We scheduled the appointment exactly 10 weeks after our first ultrasound to confirm the pregnancy. Ironically, we found out the sex of our first baby on the 6 year anniversary of the first time Bill kissed me. I feel like if that doesn't tell us this is meant to be, what does? It was a very special day. In addition to Bill and I, we invited our mothers, the future grandmothers, to the appointment. It was harder for them to keep the secret of the sex until the reveal party than it was for us! haha

6 days later, on November 15th, we made the announcement to our friends and family and made the big announcement to the world of social media; almost all of which didn't even know we are pregnant! Many, many people were shocked and all were happy. Our family had been itching to tell everyone and let the secret out, but we managed to keep it under wraps for 20 weeks!

    So how did we announce it? We went with something that we both love: dirt biking! We took to the desert and took some fun pictures with our dirt bikes and ultrasound pictures of our future little rider! The whole time, our little miss was kicking around, getting excited about having a dirt bike of her own someday!

Seeing as we are having a little girl, its only fitting that we had my pink helmet to represent her! She of course could fit in it right now (at 22 weeks) and should still be able to fit when she is born! We plan to take some more adorable, themed pictures of her then, too!




We love this picture because we just can't wait to watch her dirtbike and get her her first bike some day! Dirt biking has been a substantial part of our relationship and growth as a couple and will hopefully be a foundation for our family and something we can all do together for a very long time.




While some say that we are young and maybe we should have waited a little longer; we've only been married for almost 6 months. I say: we have been together for 6 years and known each other for 7. We were great friends before we started dating and have grown up so much together. Yes, we are young. But unlike many young people, and some older than us even, we have our own home with room for our family to grow, we have stable jobs with benefits, safe vehicles and we wanted this baby so badly. We talked and talked almost every night about what we wanted, what we should do and what if it happened. We are adults and are very much in love. And right now, that is all we need. God decided that He was ready for us to bring this little girl into this world to serve her purpose and for us to be her parents and we are blessed and fortunate to be able to have her and soon hold her in our arms and watch her grow every day. We couldn't be more excited for our future as a family of three!

The First Kick: Halloween 2017

    The coolest, most awesome thing happened recently: I felt, and actually saw, my baby kick for the first time. Up until that point I had only felt little flutters at random times that I couldn't be sure were my baby kicking. On Halloween, my pregnancy app told me that the baby's heartbeat may be able to be heard with a stethoscope. So what do I do? I get my stethoscope out, lay very still and listen very carefully.

    I carefully moved the stethoscope over my belly and waited for any sort of sound. I was watching my stomach to make sure that my stethoscope was in a good place and all of a sudden my stethoscope bounced off of my stomach. The baby had kicked my stethoscope so hard that it removed it from my tummy in my hand! It was the single most amazing thing to me! I called Bill in to tell him what happened and to see if the baby would do it again so he could feel it or see it happen! The baby kept quiet, like it was our little secret.

    I still have yet to hear the heart beat, but I feel the kicking throughout the day and it makes me even more and more excited to meet our little baby!

First Comes Love, Then Comes Marriage, Here Comes Baby in the Baby Carriage

    After 5 years of dating, 5 months of being engaged and 3 months of being married, Bill and I decided that maybe it would be fun to have a little one to share our lives with sometime in the near-ish future. Well, the little one kind of decided that it wanted to make an appearance earlier than any of us thought it would! Our little bundle of joy is expected to be here Easter 2018! Our little bunny!
    As of right now I am 15 weeks pregnant and ready for week 16 and the relief that the 2nd Trimester will hopefully bring. My morning sickness has been so much fun! (NOT!) It's not just morning sickness, either, its mainly night sickness for me!
    We took a test on the 24th of July and were so happy, scared, excited, nervous, anxious, and many other emotions I couldn't even begin to describe. Though we weren't even "trying" to have a baby, we were so happy to find out that we were going to be parents and couldn't wait to share the news. However, we decided to wait, just a while, to tell our families and friends. We wanted to be selfish and keep it between us for a little while.
    Well, my morning sickness got so bad in my 7th and 8th weeks that I got very dehydrated and my parents started to notice I wasn't feeling well. My mom said, "you aren't pregnant are you?" one day before work when I was over at my Grandma's house with her. I told her, "well, about that. Yea, I am." Needless to say she was shocked, but very excited that she was going to be a Grandma. And I kept my promise to her, that she would be the first one, besides me or Bill, that would know I was pregnant. She helped me keep it from my dad until that Sunday, which was their wedding anniversary and when we decided would be a good time to tell him and my brother.
    That was August, 8th. On August 10th, I was struck by a car while walking in the cross-walk, home to my Grandma's from work. I was able to get out of the way of the car for the most part so I didn't get as much of the impact as I would have otherwise; but I was/am still hurt pretty badly. My purse and jacket shielded my abdomen and torso from most of the impact, and I believe that was both mine and the baby's saving grace. Had that purse not been there, I feel my injuries could have been far worse and who knows what else could have happened.
    On Sunday the 13th, we told my dad and brother, and my brother couldn't have been more excited if I had told him he had just won the million dollar jack pot. My dad was kind of in shock and noticeably less excited. When I asked him about it a couple weeks later, he said that he still couldn't believe it and that he never, ever thought that he would live to see his grand children. And that he didn't want to get too excited because he felt he would jinx it. I told him that could never happen and that it was very okay to be excited. Ever since then, he has been buying Harley Davidson onesies, accessories and stuff for the baby.
    On the 17th of August we told Bill's mom and Stepdad the news. His mom was very curious what was in the gift we had brought them, thinking it was a gag gift or a joke box of some kind. However, when they opened it, read the letter and saw what was in the box, they were so overjoyed. David has never had kids of his own and only has my husband and sister-in-law as step-children. He is so excited to get to be in this little one's life and watch it grow.
    Telling the rest of Bill's family was the difficult part. Tell his grandparents before his Dad and Stepmom and his grandparents would break the news before we could, and vise versus. And one of them would tell Bill's sister who lives in Kansas or they would forget and she would be the last to know. So we decided a dinner with his dad, step-mom and grandparents would be the easiest way to tell them and so after several weeks of trying to coordinate schedules and get everyone together, we finally set a dinner date for Labor day. That weekend, Bill's mom and Step-dad were flying to Kansas to see his sister, which also meant they would be a proxy for us to tell Bill's sister she was going to be an Aunt, all in one day.
    Well, either someone spilled the beans or his family is really good at guessing. They totally knew what was up. His grandma said, "ooh, maybe the box is an 'announcement' of some sort". Then his dad had a look on his face that said he knew what was going on, too. So, surprise ruined there.
    But Erika, she was very excited. We called her from the car on the way home, and told her she was going to be an Aunt. Her response was, "to a dog or a baby?!" When we said baby, she squealed and told us she started crying and it was the best day ever. She sent a really long, nice text to Bill later about how excited she was but sad she didn't live closer so she could be more involved but that she would be the best aunt she could be!
    On August 31st, we got to see our little bunny for the very first time during my ultrasound. He is a little wiggler! The tech was having trouble getting some good pictures because the little nugget kept doing flips and moving around! I can't wait until I can actually feel it happen!
   I have another OB appointment here in a couple of weeks and by that time I will be going into my 15th or 16th week, and maybe if we are lucky we will get to find out what we are having! If not, it will probably be after the next appointment! Bill really wants a boy, and I can tell my brother and dad definitely want a boy, but I will be happy either way.
    After years of baby fever and knowing that this is exactly what I want, I am just so happy that it is actually happening. I still have trouble believing it some days! I am so excited to bring this bundle of joy into the world--half of me and half of the love of my life, my forever dance partner, my forever goodnight kiss. I can't wait to hold our little bunny and kiss it's cheeks, hold it close and give it all the love I have in my heart. I already love this little baby so much and I can't wait to meet our little baby!
    But most of all, I can't wait to see Bill see our baby for the first time. I can't wait to see how his eyes light up, the smile on his face, the tears in his eyes, the obvious and absolute love and dedication on his face. To know that this baby will have him as a father, is more than I could have ever asked for. This baby will have the most supportive, endearing and loving man to look up to and call daddy, and I couldn't be happier about that.

Mr. and Mrs. Pierce - Established June 3, 2017

    On June 3rd, just after 6 p.m., I married the love of my life, my best friend, my partner in crime. From meeting at Pizza Hut almost 7 years ago, to falling in love, buying a house, and everything in between, we couldn't be happier or have been more ready for this step in our life.
    The day started out in a hurry and went by so quickly! I got up in the morning with my family--I stayed at my parents house the night before. I couldn't have asked for a better last morning as a Van Matre. I woke up in my old room, in my old house, with my brother, and both of my parents near by. It has been almost 2 years since that has happened. We all got up and went to Denny's for breakfast before starting wedding preparations.
     My veil that we had ordered 2 weeks before still hadn't arrived so we hauled butt around town trying to find one and finally did at David's bridal around noon. Whew! My maid of honor and I headed back to the Church to finish decorating and other preparations. We blew up balloons, put the tablecloths on, decorated the Sanctuary, finished the centerpieces as well as making all of the desserts and appetizers for the reception.

    Next was my hair appointment at 2 p.m..  Thankfully it was literally 30 seconds away from the church and took me no time to get there. During this time, our photographer was taking pictures of all of the little details of our wedding: our rings, flowers, jewelry. She was so amazing and experienced that nothing phased her! Our pictures were supposed to start at 4 p.m. at the Church for the girls' getting ready pictures. My hair/makeup appointment didn't end until 5 p.m. Just one hour before the wedding was supposed to start! I was freaking out the whole appointment and worried I was going to look terrible! I was wearing more makeup than I ever had in my entire life, I hadn't seen my hair so I didn't know what it looked like and I was running so late that I felt like I was going to have a panic attack. I am not a late person.
    Thankfully, our amazing photographer went ahead and got the pictures of the guys getting ready and some of the girls and kiddos as they got ready. When I finally arrived, she was ready to jump in and start taking pictures of me getting my dress on and the finishing touches, as well as a "First Look" with my father.

    I decided to do a 'First Look" with my dad instead of my Fiance because I wanted to see the look on my fiance's face when he first saw me start to come down the isle towards him. I wanted that special moment. I also wanted a moment with my dad. I am such a Daddy's girl that I wanted him to be the first man that saw me dolled up and ready to go. He is so special to me and there have been many times in my life when I didn't think that he would ever be able to see me get married and to have him be there, it was so special and an amazing gift.

    There was about 30 minutes between the time that I finished getting ready and the time I walked down the isle. I couldn't stop thinking about who all was going to actually be at the wedding, if the guys had figured out their bowties, if my grandma was okay. A million little things were running through my head! I was nervous about everything except walking down the isle because I knew what was waiting for me: an amazing man that God brought into my life and a future full of love and adventure. I knew I was ready.




I walked arm-in-arm with the first man to love me, towards the man I would marry and it was like a dream. I didn't see anyone else except for him. I didn't notice anything else, except for him. I barely noticed my dad next to me, slowing me down--I just could't wait to get down the isle to the love of my life. When we got the pictures back, I absolutely loved that we got the look on his face when he saw me for the first time. Seeing the way he looks at me, I can feel the love of that moment over and over again.









We said our vows, we tied the knot (literally) and we shared our first kiss as Mr. and Mrs. Pierce. It was a magical kiss (that yes, did take a little bit of rehearsing before hand!) that I won't ever forget! And it also caused some priceless reactions! My ring-bearer, and little cousin, Darien, had some of the best reactions and moments throughout the ceremony. He danced around, thumped himself in the head at least a dozen times, made some adorably cute faces and stood in awe during our vows and Hand-Fasting ceremony. I couldn't have imagined a better ring-bearer! I have loved being able to watch him grow up and can't wait to show him these pictures when he gets older!



After the ceremony, we took some family pictures. One of my favorites is of us with my in-laws because I absolutely love the family that I married into and couldn't have asked for a greater blessing. With two sets of parents, one set of grandparents and a sister-in-law (not in this picture), I couldn't have hit a better jack-pot! Though we definitely don't agree on some things, we all get along amazingly and there is an abundance of love and laughter.



During this, I also got a very special picture with my grandmother, who is almost 102. It was such a blessing and a miracle in many ways, to have her there. She has lived to see so much, both of my brother and I being born when she was 77 and 79, both of our high school graduations at 96 and 98, my brother's college graduation at 100 and my wedding at 101. She has been with us for so many things that we could never take her for granted!











It was really the best day of our lives and we can't wait to see what the future holds for us! Here are some of my other favorite pictures from the day! We were surrounded by so many amazing people and it was a day filled with such love and joy and many, many blessings!










Our Wedding Party










                                                           One of my favorite pictures!

The boys being able to go from this:












To this:

To this:

in just a matter of a minute!











And one of my personal favorites: a beautiful bridal picture in front of the lavender. Our photographer was so amazing!