This evening during my Anatomy and Physiology Lecture I had a wild thought. Earlier in the day I had confessed to a friend of mine two things that I have been having trouble with lately. During class I was trying to understand my problems, what was causing them and how I could go about fixing them. That's when I came up with a list of 13 things that I feel could help anyone with any problem they may have or to help deal with things that are causing stress. (And no I don't feel bad having come up with these things in the middle of my Biology Lecture because I already know what a covalent bond is!)
1. Believe that you are enough. Every day you need to wake up and tell yourself that no matter what happens today, or what happened yesterday or what will happen tomorrow, you are enough to handle it. I have trouble believing sometimes that I am enough for my boyfriend, enough for my friends (the few I have) and even enough for myself. Am I the person that I really want to be? I wake up and tell myself that I am enough for all of those people and for myself. My boyfriend loves me and only me, he loves me with his whole heart and he chooses everyday to be with me. My friends chose to talk to me and hangout with me and help me. If I wasn't enough for them, I figure I wouldn't have them in my life. Knowing and understanding that, as well as working towards my goals in college and outside of it, I know I am enough for myself.
2. Don't overdo it. Everyone has their limits with anything that they do. If you are a partier, don't drink too much. If you love to study, don't study until you've become burnt out. If you have been working a lot of hours at work, don't be afraid to take some time off and spend it with your friend or family. Moderation is your friend. If you overdo something it won't have the same appeal that it would if it is done in moderation. Moderation is key.
3. Don't be afraid to take risks; just make sure they are risks you are willing and ready to take. Don't go jump out of an airplane strapped to a guy with a parachute just because your boyfriend wants to do it or just because your friends are. If YOU want to skydive and are ready for it, go for it! If you want to tell the guy you've had a crush on for the past year that you love him, then do it! Just make sure that you are ready for the outcome and the change that is going to follow your risks.
4. Cry whenever the heck you want to. Do not be afraid of your own emotions. Everyone is given the same emotions but not everyone feels them the same way. Some people are more compassionate while others are more sarcastic. Everyone is built differently. It seems that a lot of people have one thing in common: we think that crying is a sign of weakness. Crying is not a sign of weakness, it is a sign that you have been strong for so long that its time to relax and take a breath. Crying helps to release toxins, relieve stress and clear the mind. Crying is okay and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
5. Be selfish! Don't be afraid to blow off your friends for your family or both for personal time. Don't be afraid to tell others what you want and to do things for yourself. Go to the movies by yourself, buy yourself a new pairs of shoes, do something for yourself! Taking time to figure out what you like and don't like will help you to understand what you want when being around other people and will help you to become a better version of yourself.
6. Don't settle; but don't hold out. If you aren't happy with where you are at or who you are with, it really is okay to make changes to your life. You deserve the best the world has to offer. So if you wake up one morning and the man you loved 3 years ago isn't the man you love today, it is okay to admit that and move on. You owe it to him and to yourself to end the relationship and move on to the better things that God has planned for you. Or if you aren't happy at work; your coworkers and boss are jerks and you wake up every day dreading work, its definitely time to find a new job and get the heck away from the old one. At this point it is very important to not overlook many things because who knows when Mr. Right or that perfect job will come along. Don't pass something over, or break up with someone, just because you think that something better is out there. It may not be, so don't hold out waiting. It may just find you when you are least expecting it.
7. Don't judge others and you will feel less judged. Feeling like everyone or any one person is judging your every move is one of the worse feelings ever. If you know how that feels, why would you want others to feel like that? This goes right along with treating others how you want to be treated; the golden rule. One of the few things that we have control over, full control over, is the way we look, act and dress. Everyone has different life stories that has shaped them in one way or another and we don't always understand them, or get the opportunity to do so. Before making assumptions about someone you hardly know based on the brief time you have spent with them or from what you've heard about them from others you should get to know them better yourself and then try to imagine how you would act in their place. When you stop judging people you will feel less stressed by the feeling that others could be judging you. An enormous weight will be lifted off of your shoulders and you will be a much more secure and happy person.
8. Don't compare yourself to others. Comparing yourself to others is a really good way to lower your self-esteem and make you feel like a lesser person. If you compare yourself to other people you will realize all of the things that you don't have in your life and forget to see the things that you do have. Everyone is at different points in their lives and who says that just because you are the same age as someone that you are supposed to be at the same exact point in your life as they are in theirs. Everyone goes through different things and takes different paths in life and comparing yourself to someone else on a different path is like comparing a tiger and a lion: they look alike, act similarly and have the same goals, they just take different routes and use different methods to achieve their goals. Spend your time counting your blessings and not the blessings of others. Do not look at other people and wish that you had their face or their skin tone, their hair or their life. Appreciate what it is that God has given you because you never know when it could go away.
9. Reflect on the past, but don't dwell on it. We can learn so any things from the mistakes and events in our past that have shaped us to be who we are today. We have the capability to remember most of our lives, not every small detail but usually the bigger picture. The bigger picture of our past can help us to bypass mistakes in our future. The catch here is that we make sure we don't linger on things that we had a hard time with in the past or we feel we should have done differently. The past is to remember the things that we did differently and accept it not to dwell on the fact that we cant change them or go back and do them differently. We have to accept the past, move on and learn from it. Do not think about what it is that you think you should have changed, said or not said. You can't change the past but you can use that information and that experience to make sure that you don't make the same mistake too many times.
10. Know yourself, figure yourself out. Everyone must find who they are and love themselves before they are able to be loved or love another. Take time to figure out what you like and do not like in people and in life. If you are to truly understand the world around you, you must figure out who you are in this world. The sooner you find these things and yourself, the sooner you will be satisfied with your life and have a higher self esteem knowing that you understand the world around you and the things you like and, just as importantly, the things you don't like.
11. Always take the high road. In your life, there are going to be many people that have yet to leave high school and that will try to bring you down. Don't let them. Don't reply to their meaningless insults or rude comments. They are most likely jealous of your future and life. You have a plan for your life and they are jealous of that. They want to be like you and they also want you to be as miserable as them. Don't be miserable. Stay on the path that you are on and ignore them. You will find that your life is much happier.
12. Don't let the little things bug you. Don't let a bad day, class, grade or comment ruin your day or
week. The little things are what make up the big things but if you let the few little things that bug you expand and grow, there will be more bad days than good. That is the worst way to spend your time. Leave the little things in the past and look forward to tomorrow, to the next class, to the next test.
Believe that you can be better and try your hardest to do so.
13. Change the things that you cannot accept and accept the things you cannot change. No matter how superficial the things you want to change are, you have the power to change them. If you don't like your hair color, change it. Try something new and different with it. Experiment. If you wear curls, wear it straight. If you are blond and aren't liking it much lately, try something darker. If you are unhappy with your weight then go to the gym and work it off. You can complain all you want about the things that you don't like in your life but where does that get you? It just makes you unhappy and sad. Accept the things you can't change. You also posses the power to do that.
