Another semester has come and gone and I am one step closer to fulfilling my dream as a Nurse! I am getting more and more anxious every day. I want to get it over with and move forward, so I want to finish all of my prerequisites as fast as I can and get out! I just feel like it is so far away!
In a years time, hopefully, I will be going on my Winter Break before starting the Nursing Program in the Spring of 2016. Like I said, it seems so far away seeing as Spring of 2015 isn't even here yet, heck 2015 hasn't even been rung in! A year in the grand scheme of things doesn't seem like so long but I just hate waiting. I want to be there and be learning, doing and experiencing. I want to jump feet first in the deep end and save lives. I want to be someone and I am tired of waiting for it. Sure, I'm not sitting around and doing nothing, I'm working towards my dreams as best I can, but it doesn't seem like enough.
My manager at work got on me about not working enough this semester, but when I have clinicals and 6 classes, how am I expected to work 5+ days of work per week? A part time job is usually around 20 hours per week, not the 30-ish to 40 that I had been doing for several weeks. My school work had been suffering and I needed more time to study, I also had a night class two days per week so I took an extra day off of work in between to have more time to study and focus on school. Seeing as my boyfriend lived in Pueblo this semester, I also took a couple weekends off every now and then in order to be able to see my boyfriend for even a few moments when he was in town. I have worked my butt off for my managers for the last 2 years and it didn't pay off when I was a hostess and it hasn't paid off for me now as a server. I have worked my butt off as a server since the day I started training last spring and never backed down. But how am I supposed to continue working hard for something when the reward isn't going to be given?
There are many people who do things without the prospects of rewards but this isn't one of those things. I want to be happy at my job and know that I'm progressing and not just at a standstill. I want to know that even as a server I am accomplishing something and doing something for myself. If I can't do it as a server how can I expect myself to accomplish it in real life and in the Nursing Program? How can I expect myself to excel and progress there if I can't do it in my current life? How can I move forward when I feel stuck right where I am?
I just can't wait for it all to finally happen for me and finally be my turn for something great and meaningful to happen for me. Sure there are the small wonders that I am blessed with but I can't wait for the grand, big, amazing, life changing event to finally happen to me.
