Divergent

    There's something about the first anything that is so magical, so imperfectly beautiful that it makes it all the better. Your first love, your first kiss, your first time, the first book, the first movie, the first moments are the best things that you may ever experience. Many say that it’s not the first moments; it’s the last that really count, but I disagree. It’s in the first moments that you are able to see someone and it’s those moments in the beginning that you realize how you feel about someone that matter. The first time with anything will set the precedence for everything to come. When you look back to the moment that you first met someone or looked at someone and your heart beats just a little harder remembering those moments, that's what counts.

    Recently I read the Divergent series; it took me about 2-3 days to finish all three books.

While all of the books were amazing and magnificently written, I'm still in love with the first book. In an interview with the author, Veronica Roth, she said that she had definitely thought out the second and third more than she had the first. I think that's the beauty of the first one. .the mystery and the feeling of meeting someone for the first time, too, that does it for me. Once you get deeper into the series, the only thing that changes much is the setting and the plot; the characters develop and expand on who they already are. They may have their break-through moments where they finally discover who they want to be, but by that point, we, as readers, can almost see it ourselves before the character experiences it. We get to grow with and befriend the characters throughout the series and feel their pain and share their thoughts, but you can only meet someone for the first time once, and that one time, that one moment is so magical that it never leaves you.

    In Divergent, when we first meet Tris, there's a sense of unknowing and adventure about her that draws the readers in. Her imperfections and flaws, the way that she sees herself is so relatable to almost every reader. Her vulnerability and character is what makes us see her as perfect, what makes us fall in love with her from the start. The first moment that she/we meet Four. .that moment can only be lived once. When I read that moment, I was filled with the excitement of first love and could almost feel that spark myself, maybe even before Tris felt it. But it will never be the same as the first time I read it, no matter how many times I will read it. Their first kiss, the moment that they knew that they loved each other, those moments are much more precious than the second or third, though those are amazing as well. You can’t get the same rush of emotions from anything but the first moments with a new character or a new person. It will never be able to live up to those moments, no matter how hard you want them to. The same goes with those experiences in real life.

    The experiences of both Tobias and Tris are what make me love to read and what make me appreciate moments in the beginning like theirs. When I was reading the last moments that they spent together and the last moments of the series, all I could think about was wanting to see where it all started, to see how far they had come as a individuals and as a couple.

    Veronica Roth said in her interview that there are many things that she would change about the first book, if she could go back and do so. I think that would be wrong. The words that she wrote, the story that she told is what made it the bestseller that it is and to change that or want to change that would be wrong. It’s an experience that Roth was able to learn from and progress with. It was something that made her a better writer. The book’s flaws and imperfections are what made it great and what make it such an amazing and thrilling book; it's also what makes it worth reading over other books in the genre and others, too.

    The first moments are what set the precedence for the rest of the story. The first moments are the greatest feelings you’ll ever experience. There are many firsts and there are many lasts, but it’s the first that make the story great! There are many firsts throughout the series as well, and they are just as great as the ones in the very beginning, but they can never measure up. . .

Lost and Out of Control

    Seeing as my blog isn't chronological, I don't feel like it's necessary to do a "Previously on 'Do Something You...'", so I'll just jump right into it. I feel completely lost and out of touch with everything around me, lately. I feel as if I don't belong and I'm completely out of place. I feel like I don't fit in with people my own age. In my tennis class, golf class and almost every class I have I seem to socialize and assimilate with the "Returning Adult Learners". There are very few people that are close to my own age that I can or even try to talk to. When I try to open myself up to making friends that are my age, it doesn't happen for one reason or another. Sometimes I feel like it's because I'm too plain for them (I don't drink or party, smoke or do drugs; I work, go to school and study) or they annoy me with their immaturity and constant rambling about things that don't matter.
    For instance, this girl in my golf class won't stop talking to me during class and won't shut up about how sore she is from her yoga class the hour before. . .Cool! I do yoga, too, but I don't go around using it as a conversation starter to continue rambling on about my life and problems to a complete stranger! Seeing as we are the only two girls in that class I had originally hoped she would be someone to talk to about golf and to hit with, but instead I got someone who wants to talk about her life and won't stop. I know that everyone needs someone to talk to about stuff, but I just don't do that with complete strangers!

    My friend Taylor, one of the only girls I actually talk to that's my age, is  pretty cool. However, like most girls our age, she is quite fickle, unemployed and has something new to complain about every day. On top of being unemployed, she wants us to move out together at the end of the Summer before the Fall semester starts. I was pretty excited about it at first until I started looking at the facts: she doesn't have a job, so how is she going to pay equal rent? We also have never really hung out outside of school except to watch Full House and some Netflix in her dorm in between classes. . .We don't know how we get along and who says we would if we lived together. . .?
 
    Sometimes I feel like I need to try something new to pull me out of this funk, like moving out or away or doing something life changing and exciting, but I haven't figured out what I can do. I can't just move out on my own, I mean I get free food, a room and my laundry done at home. For FREE. It doesn't get much better than that. But I've had that for the last almost 19 years. A person needs a change of scenery every now and then right? Sometimes all someone needs to feel better is a new reason do wake up in the morning, something to look forwards to and something that they can work towards, something that motivates them. I feel like I don't have that. I go to school to get done with it so I can start working; I go to work so I can make money to pay my bills, buy a few nice things and maybe buy a motorcycle. There's no real, genuine motivation for me.
    I feel just completely lost, like I don't know where I'm going, what I'm doing or what the point of it all is. I don't know where my life is going, what I want to get from it and what I don't want from it. . .I just know that I don't know. Its out of my control and I figure I can just roll with the tides and pray that it takes me somewhere amazing.